In my spare time

So in my spare time (which is not that much) I have been reading this book, (along with many others- {I seem to do that a lot}) which was recommended to me by one of my friends in Austin, Rebecca Leddick, on kids. I have two totally different kids, and I have been at somewhat of a loss with Cade my three year old. Ty has been so easy to mold, brainwash and create that perfect image (haha), and with Cade it's like I know nothing and it's like I am starting from scratch with my first. Ty made being a new mom not easy, but I was able to pull from my bag of tricks, kept my fingers crossed, and was lucky that it worked. With Cade, this is a whole different level of bag of tricks that I am not prepared for. You know how they say that you are never really prepared for kids and such, well you are not, and I am at a complete loss with this one.
So anyway, the book is titled "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. So far it is fab! I have gotten some insight on my "spirited child". I have to say not only is it giving me in site on my own child, but people in general. I have taken classes on personalities and such which have been great, but this is different. Myself, being such a strong personality,(I know I know a surprise to most of you) I have a hard time bringing myself down to other personalities. I have gotten so much better, and continue to grow in that aspect, and now feel I can take it to another level with this book. This not only helps with Cade, but with my students in teaching yoga. I have come across all kinds, and I am fascinated trying to figure people out. It takes all kinds to make the world go around.
One of the topics that has stuck out for me is labeling. As a society we are so quick to place labels on things and people. I know I am quick to describe my children in a certain manner, be it with love, but non the less labeling. In the book it talks about redesigning labels. Replacing old negative labels with New and exciting labels. As I am writing this on a side note, so much of this ties into the philosophy of Anusara Yoga... everything is essentially good (yeah baby)...sorry for those non anusaraies....anyway replacing labels:
So instead of my describing Cade as "loud" I should say he is "enthusiastic" and "zestful". Instead of "demanding" I should say "Holds high standards". Do you know how hard that has been? How much thought it has taken on my part? Again we get into these labeling free for alls, and hard to get out of them...two of my favorites is instead of "WILD"-"Energetic" and "Impatient"-"Compelling"... I could go on and one, but basically these feelings and images of these new labels creates a better feeling and attitude about the situation at hand. It will feel better to be around a child who is "assertive"(stubborn) "dramatic"(explosive) "analytical"(whiny) etc...We can be more tolerant, open, and creative as a result. I have started to put this to play, and well, I'll keep doing it with a smile, and faith. I'll let you know as the days go on...
Cade is HUGE on positive reinforcement, and I can see that certain things are working and some not so much, but again work in progress.
So I am carrying this over into my marriage as well. Jason and I have a great connection and relationship, but things can always improve. Though there are quite a bit of similarities between Jason and myself, there are big differences. I am the one that doesn't shut up, and and wants answers now. Jason is the one that sits back, watches, listens, and takes time to answer. By me focusing on his strengths, I can take a positive effect on the things that can drive me crazy about my husband. We all have things that drive each other crazy, but it getting past them in a positive way...So instead of being annoyed that Jason doesn't always talk or comment etc, I can appreciate that he is "prudent" and perhaps "analyzing" the subject at hand. I can replace my impatience with deep respect that my husband is intelligent enough to make excellent decisions and creative solutions that are worth the wait. (ooohhhh pretty deep right?) Don't get me wrong friends, this will not be over night, but I am encouraged and determined to think this way. Fortunately my husband is also EXTREMELY patient, and knows that I am a work in progress...so I guess to come full circle, I have created my own monster with Cade that I need to change all the way around...well at least I have recognized it right?
Well lots of work ahead of me. Now I have to rest my brain so I can be up for the challenge!
Just some food for thought!